Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize