Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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