I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
