ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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