Is it normal to miss your booty call?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize