maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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