I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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