Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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