He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
