how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
