And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
