i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have post one night stand depression
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize