He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
