Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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