Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's always time for handjobs
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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