Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
