How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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