I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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