jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
