Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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