The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
