the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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