The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
