i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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