exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
