i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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