Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
