I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
