Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
