There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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