I must be too annoying 4 u.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
