if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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