drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
