you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
