How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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