So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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