Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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