I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
