For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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