Screwed.edu
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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