I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
