Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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