i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the day after is always just damage control
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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