Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
