Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
