I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
