At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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