last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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