i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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