you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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