Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
