would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
