butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
