Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
