I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
