Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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